Here I sit all broken hearted......

I understand system wide delays for weather.

I understand a last minute maintenance issue that delays you at the last minute.

I understand delays for all flights in and out of a particular airport.

What I don't get is a 3 hour delay that is known about 6 hours before the original scheduled departure.

So now I'm sitting in a bar at Sea-Tac 2 beers in (OH OH, THEY MAKE THE SAM ADAMS TURBULATOR GLASSES IN 22 OZ VERSIONS!!!) seriously cutting in to the time I get to spend at my house this week. And since I am back out on Sunday, this is a bit of an issue. But, what can you do? It is what it is.

The following is NOT, I repeat NOT, an April Fools Day Prank. That would make my life too easy.

Other than that....I got to go through the porno scanner this afternoon instead of the x-ray. I'm standing between two big blue boxes on the the rubber mat with two little blue boxes where my feet go, hands over my head with my fingers outstretched, thumbs touching the top of my head like little moose antlers. (I'm not making this up). I was given firm instructions from the Top Shit Authority officer, who could have been my grandmother 15 years ago, sweet little old blue hair, (VERY intimidating), not to move when I feel my pants start to slip. Now, let me explain. I'm a little portly, a little rotund, pleasantly plump, or in the immortal words of R. Lee Ermy, "A DISGUSTING FATBODY!". I by pants a little big in the waist. but then they slip down under my gut and I belt them tight. It's not a perfect system, but it's my system. However if you remove part of that system (i.e. the belt), things may start to slip. So I was faced with a dilemma. Grandma is facing away at this point, listening to her little ear bud. I decided not to violate the command of a federal officer. Suddenly everyone in security sees exactly what the remote operator is seeing, but in FULL COLOR instead of black and white. Sure glad I didn't wear my elephant trunk underoos today. She turns back around and I get a "OH DEAR!!" I respond innocently, almost tearfully (totally laughing my ass off on the inside", "YOU TOLD ME NOT TO MOVE" she responds "Roger, Clear." Not sure if she was talking to me or not so I stand there for a couple more seconds until she blurts out, "You're clear, you're clear!" I hitch up my dignity and hitch up my drawers, grab the offending belt, my shoes, jacket and computer and stalk off. I almost made it out of security before I started giggling out loud, albeit under my breath. Almost made it too the tram to the S gates before I was laughing to the point of tears. Now, I'm sitting in Cascades in the S satellite chuckling as I write this. I think the sweet little old couple (guy has to be a midwest farmer) think I'm either drunk or insane. Meh.

I got to go back and see many of the places I used to hang out here in Washington. Took pictures to show the wife but I guess I can post some of them here. Lucky you. It's like the old lady in the middle seat who wants to show you wallet photos of her grandson Billy (little prick).

.

My Apartment (lower left apt)

My Home (3rd seat from the left end of the U shaped bar)

Deception Pass Bridge       

                        Pass Lake (fantastic lake trout fishing)

10" Rifle at Fort Casey (fantastic U-boat fishing)

Admirality Head Lighthouse

Greatest Attack Aircraft EVER at the Boeing Museum of Flight

Greatest Attack Aircraft and the Greatest Radar Jammer EVER on the turnoff to NAS Whidbey

The safe on Air Force One where the Nuclear Football was kept

John F. Kennedy (and others) Shat upon this throne.

So that's it for this little jaunt into my sick, sad, world (ooooh, a Daria reference). Join me next week when I head for California's wine country. With my boss. Ought to be......interesting.

Until next time, keep your stick on the ice and remember, were all rooting for you. Now join me in the recitation of the Man's Prayer:

Lord, I'm a man.

But I can change.

If I have to.

I guess.

Thank you Red Green